Later that night...

Just a short one...
I think I've had my first real day where I am thinking "Vancouver's okay." Or maybe "Vancouver is just alright with me...Vancouver is just alrighttttttttt"
This may have to do with the fact that my parents are now in the same province...right now in Victoria visiting my favourite friends Barbara and James...but I also had a pretty decent day. I woke up around 9:30am, went for a run along the ocean (25 min run then 6 min walk up a crazy steep hill then 20 min run home) and then had this job interview thingy that I wrote about before. Colin got home around 6pm and we headed to Richy's and made veggie burgers and salad and fries, did some work on Logic and then watched a MuchMusic Spotlight on Beyonce (I hadn't heard half of the new songs...I'm old.) Driving home, we listened to the National even though Colin CLAIMS he doesn't like them (I don't believe him, it's impossible) and I looked out the window at the lovely Vancouver skyline. Or I guess maybe it was West Van? I don't know yet -- I'm not great at finding my way around -- but it was really pretty.

So I thought to myself -- Vancouver's alright. I think I might end up liking it here. But it has a lot to do with good music and nice skylines.

There is still one thing that totally sucks though, and will be continual -- when I want to text people past 10pm my time, they are usually asleep. So I end up sending a lot of texts that go unanswered until around 8am my time. I guess I need to make some friends here. But I don't want to!!!! I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!

MY CATS ARE GOING INSANE!! Monster just full on jumped on my boob. They are tearing around like maniacs!!! Okay THEY are the best thing in the world!!!

I know this post is totally crazy but I wanted to write and assure my friends that I'm okay for now. But also -- I'm really looking forward to showing you all around this city (I'll try and figure it out better before you arrive) so don't be slacking on planning your trips!!!

xox
Laura

Introducing...the den!

Hi folks.

I decided to show you a room in my house. Basically no room in the house is "finished" but this one's as close as it's gonna get for a while. By this, I mean that with other rooms we either still need to paint, or get furniture, or clear out junk. The only things about the den are that Colin's bikes are there cluttering up the place, and the futon will soon be a sofa bed. However, right now the sofa bed is in the living room until our other furniture arrives sometime in January.
So this is the den aka knick knack room. It might end up being my office if I ever need to actually use it (that is, if I ever were to get a job...!) but for now it houses one of my dressers, a small desk and a futon. There is a fireplace in it that we're having inspected sometime next week, but I can't see us using it much. Maybe we'll fill it with big candles instead!




Grumble got mad that I was taking photos and he wasn't in them, so he started bonking his head on chair legs:



In other news, I had a job interview today. It's for a 2 month internship at a place called BroadbandTV. I wasn't interested in it at all but then today I decided I was. The interview went well but who really knows. There were a lot of applicants I think. The dude interviewing me was all sweater and scarf styles, but he was super nice and friendly and made the job sound interesting. Then he told me it was an unpaid internship (the ad had said paid) but that every intern gets a bonus at the end. What that is, I don't know. A pair of socks? An umbrella? A pat on the back? Or some cold hard cash. Anyhow, it would be something to do that wouldn't be too soul-sucking while I apply for other jobs. Also, if the government deems me worthy of Employment Insurance, I can do this internship and not lose my mind while still looking productive to society.

Colin started his new job on Monday and it seems to be going alright. His main complaint is that there's a hockey table game right beside his desk and people keep playing it and it's loud and annoying. Apparently it plays the national anthem and says things like "nice goal!!" I think maybe he's just feeling sad that he hasn't made any friends to invite him to play yet. Anyhow, for me, Monday turned out pretty depressing. I wasn't sure how I would feel, having things go a bit more back to normal with one of us working...it turns out it made me feel like crapola. I tried to occupy myself all day by going grocery shopping and applying for EI and then making Colin a nice dinner...i'm like a housewife! My mom said that when her mom was made to move and leave her friends and job back home, she hated it and was bored and then ended up getting pregnant -- with my mom! Maybe that's what I'll do too. Be a pregnant housewife on EI!! Welcome to Vancouver!!

But Tuesday was better. I got up and went riding, stopped by a shop that I'd dropped off an application for part-time work on Monday, to introduce myself to the owner, then watched the start of the new season of Californication. It's even weirder to watch that show now that I know that David Duchovny is a sex addict. But it's nice to have it back :) I've also been watching the new season of Heroes. I wasn't sure I was going to do it this year, but I started to watch it and I like this season a lot better than Season 2. Speaking of ridiculous TV dramas, there's a 2 hour TV movie called "24: Redemption" on Sunday night. I guess cause they aren't coming back with the new season until January, they wanted to do something to keep viewers hooked. We'll see if it works.

Oh! Also! I keep forgetting to tell you a story. Or maybe I told you and forgot? Anyhow. My parents had a giant rubber tree that they gave me a couple of years ago. I propagated it into a little rubber plant for Michael and Heidi as a housewarming gift when they moved. Then when we took off to Vancouver, we had to leave our plants behind. So I gave the rubber plant to Michael, and he gave me his little guy, and Colin and I put it in the car and took it across the country with us in one of the cup holders! And it survived, even when I ripped a leaf with my seatbelt. Well, today I transplanted it because it wasn't really growing and I figured it needed a bit bigger pot with better drainage. I hope it survives the operation...I tend to kill things when I move them. Anyhow, here's a photo of Mr Rubber Plant v2.1!
Okay now I'm heading to Colin's brother's place to see if I can learn Logic...it's sort of a ProTools type program but more used for music recording and editing and mixing. I don't know much about it but it can't hurt to learn a bit. Failing that, I'll just drink red wine and watch him and Colin mess around with it instead.

BYE FOR NOW!
Throw a snowball for me ;)

It's a holiday here today

I thought I was done crying for the day until that jerk friend Jake Thompson called me all drunk and lovey just a second ago. Whatta guy! I miss that dude so much and can't wait to see him at Christmas.

So it's Tuesday night, I just got back from Carol's house for dinner with her, her boyfriend Alex, Colin's brother Rich, and the two of us. It was a rough start to the day. I stayed in bed past noon with cats sleeping on my legs because it was just easier to stay in my warm cozy bed than to get up and face another day of dreariness. However, my mom was persistent with her phone calls and managed to get me up. Her phone call cheered me up, and then I checked my email and found some more encouraging words from Michael and Heidi. The tears started to flow anew, but more out of thankfulness for having such a great family. Marie called to check up on me and I could barely get out the words to say hello for the first little bit, but then I managed to calm down. Alison sent me internet hugs and we talked a bit about our impending Christmas visit when we'll both be in Oakville for the holidays. Linden called to say that he and Josh would be heading to Whistler in the beginning of December and hoped I would be around. I have such amazing friends. And Colin sat down with me and talked to me about stuff and about how he's trying to be more supportive and that he's sorry that he's been hard to talk to lately. All the tears that flowed between noon and 1pm left me with stinging eyes for the rest of the day and evening, but also left me feeling a little more settled and gave me the ability to settle down a bit. I didn't have any great revalations, to be honest, and I won't say that I'm feeling much more positive about my situation, but hearing about other peoples' experiences gives me a bit of hope that maybe things will work out for me too, sometime.

In the meantime, I applied to be a dog walker/pet sitter. I hope at least THEY call me back. Today was Rememberance Day, and in BC this means a Stat Holiday. So I was able to not fret about the fact that I wasn't getting any callbacks about jobs, simply because no one was in their office. Tomorrow will be a whole new day of worry. My plan is to go for a run at some point...I didn't get the chance to report that on Saturday, I surpassed the 30 minute mark. I ran for 33 minutes straight...then I realized I had no real clue where I was. I ended up hiking through a forest on a trail for about 20 minutes, then getting to a road where I asked a passerby where the hell I was...then I ran a bit more before going to a community centre to use a phone. There, a man told me that I was only about 12 blocks from home, so I decided to keep running. However, by then my back was starting to hurt and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to walk the next day (which was also the day of my first riding lesson with Shawna) so I took it easy for the rest of the walk. So yeah, tomorrow -- run and then who knows. I may try and go riding but the forecast calls for "drenching rain" so I might nix that plan.

I headed to the barn today around 2pm in light rain, and when I got there, the owner, Joanne, asked me how I was feeling today (she knew I wasn't feeling great from my Facebook, and had offered me some encouraging words on there). I get a good feeling from her -- she seems so down to earth and also she's a tough lady who commands respect. Her horses are all lovely and she's provided me with a great opportunity to ride one of them. So I pulled up to the barn, still in the rain, and went to get Shawna from her stall. She was all perky and cute and I was so happy to see her...and by the time I was ready to tack her up, the rain had stopped! We got in a good ride, though the footing was quite deep in areas, and then I walked her through the forest trail to cool her out. No eagles today, but several hawks flew overhead. Heidi once told me that seeing a hawk means change is afoot, so the fact that I saw a whole lot of them at once might be a sign!

Riding ALWAYS cheers me up, so by the time I left there I was feeling so much better and was ready to face the rest of the day. I'm so glad that I can have that right now...I'm not sure how much worse I'd be doing without it, but it wouldn't be pretty. I'm so thankful for it. Riding is something I will never take for granted, because it is one of the only things that I can truly say that some nights before I get to ride, I am so excited that I can't sleep right away. I've been doing it for nearly twenty years and I still feel this way -- that is a special thing. And I'm pretty sure I can count on Colin to pitch in financially for this, because he sees how sane it keeps me (most of the time). So far I've paid the first month with my own money, but that will run out soon.

Oh, I DO have one solid plan for tomorrow -- buy some rain boots. It's inevitable, and there are a lot of cute ones in stores around here so I'm sure I'll find something good for not too expensive. It's not like I don't have all the time in the world to shop around...

Love you guys.

Coming to terms

I guess that list of emotions that you go through when shit is going wrong in your life sort of applies to a whole gamut of things. Take, for instance, the slow dawning of the realization that I've probably ruined my life. So far today, I've gone through anger, sadness, hostility, hopelessness, stupidity, and a bit of craziness. How is it that I thought it would be a good idea to throw my life away just so that I could experience a new place? How am I supposed to experience anything when I have no money? I mean, sure you can be all granola and say "just go read in a park" or "window shopping is fun!" but it's not quite that simple. First of all, when you feel totally hopeless, it's hard to look on the bright side of anything. When the stock response from every company you drop your resume off to is something along the lines of "it's great to see another woman in this business. Unfortunately, we have no work for you..." it's hard to feel anything but defeated. I was flipping through the Georgia Straight today and saw that Whole Foods is hiring. I will be applying there shortly. Then I made a joke to Colin about how Costco is hiring, and his response? "Well, it's a job!" Wow, thanks for that encouragement. That attitude is really positive when it comes to making me feel like maybe I DO have some better options other than fucking retail. I had a great career doing pretty much exactly what I wanted at home in Toronto, and now I'm probably never going to get anything like that again. Colin's response? "Why don't you go to a career planner and find out of there's something else you might be suited to?" I know what I'm suited to. I just did it for seven years, and then I decided I could find something better by just turning my life upside down, leaving my family and friends and starting from zero again. I've been to school. I have no desire to waste more years of my life trying to find something else to do. I was one of the fortunate ones who knew from a pretty early age what I wanted to do, and even luckier that I went out and did it. What was I thinking?

Anyhow, I know that you are all wonderful people and won't mind getting a lump of coal for Christmas. I'll try and use my abundance of spare time shaping those lumps into cute little animals or something. Maybe I'll go sit in a park and whittle.

Let's end this on a positive note, shall we?
http://cdn1.ustream.tv/swf/4/viewer.45.swf?cid=317016

325 KWV or something

Okay so I know that some of you are having trouble with Skype/iChat.  Or maybe it's me.  It probably is.  But I just want to say DON'T GIVE UP!!!  Once it works, it's great.  My parents and I have been using it almost daily and it's working fantastically.  It takes a bit of getting used to, but once you're over the hump, it's awesome.  Tonight, Monster and Riley got to see each other on Skype!!  I swear they looked into each others' eyes.  Yes.  

So it's Friday...almost.  It's around 11:30pm on Thursday night.  The days are really long right now.  Mostly I attribute that to the fact that 85% of my days are filled with shit.  Trying to find a job, writing cover letters and tweaking resumes, dropping them off to find once again that the studio isn't hiring, spending 2 hours at the insurance office getting set up with BC plates (I didn't have to get the one with the terrible slogan!  I was hoping to just happen to get an awesome plate that spelled a great 3 letter word...but alas.  I think it's 325 KWV or something equally mundane), putting shelves up in the new IKEA wardrobe that is nearly done being put together, shopping for new sinks (which our landlord will pay for an have installed), going to IKEA again, ordering furniture (we ordered a couch and chair from EQ3 and it will take 8-10 weeks), buying and unpacking furniture (a new sofa-bed for all of you, our guests!), throwing out the 3rd bag of garbage this week (it's gutting.  I really hope we will go back to one every two weeks as soon as we finish all this unpacking), getting my car certified so I could be deemed good enough to grace the streets of Vancouver (after paying $600 for new tires as the old ones didn't pass)...really, I could go on.  

Fortunately, this 85% leaves 15% of good stuff.  Seeing Shawna, my new horsie that I'm part-leasing (whom I'm allowed to ride as much as I want and is only a 20 minute drive away), cuddling with my kitties, keeping in touch with friends and family through letter writing and receiving daily emails filled with anything from simply a line to say hello or paragraphs of wonderful updates, spending lots of time with Colin, going to fun halloween parties, having the time to relax a bit and sleep in once in a while without feeling guilty about it (not that I ever feel guilty about sleep!)  

This morning I got up at 9am to go riding but it was pouring rain.  I had a bowl of cereal and read some emails, then decided to go back to bed.  3 hours later, I got up, showered and dressed and went out to a studio then to do the car insurance.  When I got home a while later, it had stopped raining and was getting dark, so I decided that I would bust ass to get to the barn while it was somewhat non-threatening outside.  However, by the time I got there just after 5pm, it was starting to pour again and due to the fact that the light on the ring isn't too strong, I didn't want to attempt to ride around in sloppy footing while being rained on.  Instead, I took a broom, sponge and some Ivory soap that I happened to have in my tack box and set to cleaning out the tack room that I only have to share with one other person.  At my old barn, I had a small box of a locker.  At this place, I have a WHOLE ROOM!!  With some shelves and hooks and stuff!  Sure, there are cobwebs and what look like cocoons in the rafters, but it IS a barn after all.  I brushed Shawna and gave her and the others in her barn (Georgie and her daughter Rose, both Clydesdales, Jenny the rescue Clyde, and Hope, the little paint pony) some carrots and pets.  Hopefully it will be nice tomorrow during the daylight.  I don't have many plans aside from keep trying  to organize the house (shelves to put up, speakers to wire, pictures to arrange and put up, paint touch-ups to finish) so I can be relatively flexible with the barn.  

Colin's got some friends who live nearby, Angus and Cecilia.  Angus and Colin went to high school together, and he has been dating Cecilia for a few years, so I'd hung out with them the past couple of visits I'd made to Vancouver.  I love those two!  We spent quite a bit of time together last weekend, and they were over last night to sit on our new couch and watch Anchorman (there were four people between two parties on Friday who were dressed as Ron Burgundy so I figured it was worth a viewing!)  We may go see that newest Woody Allen film tomorrow night...I'm a bit skeptical of that film.  Has anyone seen it?  Anyhow I just mention this because it's funny how I don't know what to call them yet, comfortably.  They are my friends, but usually I say "Colin's friend and his girlfriend".  I think it's gotten to the point where I can start calling them "my friends."   But I don't know!  You know?  All I know is they are great and make me feel very at ease living here with them nearby.  

We went out for our first brunch last weekend!  So far we've experienced cheap, yummy sushi, delicious indian food, vegetarian fare at my favourite restaurant, some mediochre pizza and some wonderful pizza, and dinner at White Spot.  But I needed to find a good brunch spot as it's my favourite meal to go out for.  On Friday night, I decided that I would poll strangers at the party about their favourite brunch spot in town.  I only remembered to do this twice, but no one really seemed to be able to pinpoint one.  Maybe it's just not as coveted a ritual here in Vancouver?  However, Cecilia and Angus brought us to Cafe Zen on Sunday morning.  Now, I'm not looking to replace Aunties & Uncles, cause I know it won't happen.  That place is going to be one of those places I'm going to have to visit whenever I'm home for a visit.  But brunch is a yummy ritual!!  So anyhow, Cafe Zen was lovely.  A bit of a wait to get in but the line moved quickly and the waitresses were so friendly, even though it was super busy.  It takes a certain breed of person to be able to deal with hungover people en mass on a Sunday morning.    I had a benny like my favourite dish at Insomnia -- poached eggs on an english muffin with tomato and avocado under delicious hollandaise sauce.  The homefries weren't comparable, but the eggs were perfection.  I'm still gonna look, but this place has potential.  The great thing about looking for new yummy restaurants is the yummy restaurants :)

Okay well I know this post was really rambling and maybe a bit nonsensical, but that's all I got right now.  Here's a photo of some eagles that were hangin out with me at the barn on Tuesday.