It's a holiday here today

I thought I was done crying for the day until that jerk friend Jake Thompson called me all drunk and lovey just a second ago. Whatta guy! I miss that dude so much and can't wait to see him at Christmas.

So it's Tuesday night, I just got back from Carol's house for dinner with her, her boyfriend Alex, Colin's brother Rich, and the two of us. It was a rough start to the day. I stayed in bed past noon with cats sleeping on my legs because it was just easier to stay in my warm cozy bed than to get up and face another day of dreariness. However, my mom was persistent with her phone calls and managed to get me up. Her phone call cheered me up, and then I checked my email and found some more encouraging words from Michael and Heidi. The tears started to flow anew, but more out of thankfulness for having such a great family. Marie called to check up on me and I could barely get out the words to say hello for the first little bit, but then I managed to calm down. Alison sent me internet hugs and we talked a bit about our impending Christmas visit when we'll both be in Oakville for the holidays. Linden called to say that he and Josh would be heading to Whistler in the beginning of December and hoped I would be around. I have such amazing friends. And Colin sat down with me and talked to me about stuff and about how he's trying to be more supportive and that he's sorry that he's been hard to talk to lately. All the tears that flowed between noon and 1pm left me with stinging eyes for the rest of the day and evening, but also left me feeling a little more settled and gave me the ability to settle down a bit. I didn't have any great revalations, to be honest, and I won't say that I'm feeling much more positive about my situation, but hearing about other peoples' experiences gives me a bit of hope that maybe things will work out for me too, sometime.

In the meantime, I applied to be a dog walker/pet sitter. I hope at least THEY call me back. Today was Rememberance Day, and in BC this means a Stat Holiday. So I was able to not fret about the fact that I wasn't getting any callbacks about jobs, simply because no one was in their office. Tomorrow will be a whole new day of worry. My plan is to go for a run at some point...I didn't get the chance to report that on Saturday, I surpassed the 30 minute mark. I ran for 33 minutes straight...then I realized I had no real clue where I was. I ended up hiking through a forest on a trail for about 20 minutes, then getting to a road where I asked a passerby where the hell I was...then I ran a bit more before going to a community centre to use a phone. There, a man told me that I was only about 12 blocks from home, so I decided to keep running. However, by then my back was starting to hurt and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to walk the next day (which was also the day of my first riding lesson with Shawna) so I took it easy for the rest of the walk. So yeah, tomorrow -- run and then who knows. I may try and go riding but the forecast calls for "drenching rain" so I might nix that plan.

I headed to the barn today around 2pm in light rain, and when I got there, the owner, Joanne, asked me how I was feeling today (she knew I wasn't feeling great from my Facebook, and had offered me some encouraging words on there). I get a good feeling from her -- she seems so down to earth and also she's a tough lady who commands respect. Her horses are all lovely and she's provided me with a great opportunity to ride one of them. So I pulled up to the barn, still in the rain, and went to get Shawna from her stall. She was all perky and cute and I was so happy to see her...and by the time I was ready to tack her up, the rain had stopped! We got in a good ride, though the footing was quite deep in areas, and then I walked her through the forest trail to cool her out. No eagles today, but several hawks flew overhead. Heidi once told me that seeing a hawk means change is afoot, so the fact that I saw a whole lot of them at once might be a sign!

Riding ALWAYS cheers me up, so by the time I left there I was feeling so much better and was ready to face the rest of the day. I'm so glad that I can have that right now...I'm not sure how much worse I'd be doing without it, but it wouldn't be pretty. I'm so thankful for it. Riding is something I will never take for granted, because it is one of the only things that I can truly say that some nights before I get to ride, I am so excited that I can't sleep right away. I've been doing it for nearly twenty years and I still feel this way -- that is a special thing. And I'm pretty sure I can count on Colin to pitch in financially for this, because he sees how sane it keeps me (most of the time). So far I've paid the first month with my own money, but that will run out soon.

Oh, I DO have one solid plan for tomorrow -- buy some rain boots. It's inevitable, and there are a lot of cute ones in stores around here so I'm sure I'll find something good for not too expensive. It's not like I don't have all the time in the world to shop around...

Love you guys.